The Ghosts of Christmas Past

This was my first full week of work in eight months. I was filling in at an online celebrity news site for Christmas vacation.  It’s ironic, because at my old job I was somewhat of a Christmas jinx.

Being Jewish, I was always called upon to fill in Christmas week for supervisors or colleagues who were taking off for the holiday. Year after year, it seemed as soon as I was somewhat in charge the world started falling apart.

Two years stand out in my mind.

 2004 It was early morning, the day after Christmas. I was in New York and it was going to be my first day filling in for the New York Senior Hard News Producer. I get a call on my cell phone from Paulette Brown, an Early Show producer , very sweetly and politely informing me that several people died in a large earthquake off the coast of Thailand. I will never forget my response. I said,” Thanks Paulette, but I doubt that’s a story for us unless the damage gets much worse.”  Little did I know I was walking into one of the biggest stories of the decade. When I got to work hundreds were dead, by day’s end thousands were dead as the damage and death toll from the worst tsunami in modern history continued to grow.

Fast forward two years, December 26th, 2006, the death of   President Gerald Ford. I was once again in New York filling-in. We were prepared for the death of the 93-year old former President and I carried around a black binder with names and numbers of contacts.  Still when it happens Christmas week it’s a different ball game. We had to call bosses in from vacation, hold emergency meetings and ruin the holiday for lots of folks.

There was the year a man dressed as Santa shot up a holiday party killing nine people, and the Christmas day a tiger killed someone at the San Francisco zoo.

Despite the tendency for bad news, there is something fun about being in the newsroom Christmas week. There’s a comraderie among the left behind crew, the people working while everyone else is off. And, there’s food, lots of it . Vendors send chocolate, popcorn, cookies, all sorts of goodies.  At The Early Show, we started a Christmas tradition, we would order in gourmet peanut butter sandwiches and eat them together in the conference room. When Christmas and Chanukah fell at the same time we ordered latkes as well.

At the newsroom this week, there was chocolate and there was comraderie but that’s where the comparison ends.  I thought of my colleagues covering the rain-storm that battered Southern California and the snow-storm battering the East Coast, but in the celebrity news world those were non events. The biggest news was Lindsay Lohan’s rehab tussle, followed by “Teen Mom’s” brief stay in jail.

 I confess, I had never heard of Teen Mom before, but hey that’s what google’s for. Despite the differences, it was good to be working again for Christmas,  good to know I wasn’t the Christmas jinx and good to know that writing news is like riding a bicycle.

A Fond Farewell

Last week, I sat at my computer crying. It happened while I was trying to write a note to Harry Smith after hearing the news that he and the entire anchor team were being let go from The Early Show.

Harry Smith's Goodbye on the Radio

  It had been a week of goodbyes at CBS News, not just Harry, Dave and Maggie, but a day earlier my long time friend and colleague Hattie Kauffman said her farewells.

                                                   

Hattie’s departure hasn’t made the New York Post or TV Newser yet, but it’s the lead for me. Hattie and I were a correspondent/producer team for 15 years.  I like to think of us as a little Cagney and Lacey like. You couldn’t have put together two people from more disparate backgrounds. I am an Orthodox Jew from New York City. Hattie is a Native American, the first and only Native American on network news. She is a Nez Perce Indian and grew up on her reservation in Idaho and in Seattle. We are the same age, but when we met I was newly married and trying to have children. She was already an empty nester.

For 15 years, we worked together, traveled together and put countless pieces on television.  Here’s what stands out for me.

From Hattie I learned how a great interviewer works.  Harry Smith called her the great empathizer. I sat in countless tiny living rooms in small towns across the West watching as Hattie held hands with total strangers, feeling their pain as they told their stories of missing children, of murdered children, of Aids, drug abuse, foreclosed homes, illnesses, sons and daughters gone to war, all the afflictions we don’t want visited upon us. As a producer, my job was to sit in the corner and take notes, to mark a big star when I heard the sound bites we were waiting for. But often times I forgot myself, as I sat engrossed in the conversation, tears streaming down my eyes, forgetting completely that it was an interview.

Hattie's interview with Betty Ford

Hattie- the adventurer. Growing up on a reservation, Hattie rode horses, swam in lakes, went rafting and hiking and did all the outdoorsy things you think Indian kids are doing. As an adult she rode horses, swam in lakes, skied black diamonds, went scuba diving, and ran marathons. Growing up in Queens, I did none of those things, as an adult not much more.  Whenever she could, Hattie pitched stories that would put her on a horse or take her on a Western adventure. I had to schlep along. When the networks were still spending money we did annual ski safety pieces in Colorado, we went rafting in New Mexico, and horseback riding in Montana and always there was a bathing suit and towel in the back of the car so she could jump in a river.

Rafting in New Mexico

On a horse in Montana

 Any Native American story was sent our way. On assignment we visited the Navajo Code Talkers in New Mexico, the Red Lake Reservation in Northern Minnesota and Sitting Bull’s gravesite in South Dakota

Sitting Bull's Grave

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  With Hattie as our calling card all doors were opened. On the “rez” she is truly famous.  I learned about Chief Joseph and the Nez Perce history, about Indian dances, and Indian giveaways and Fry bread and beadwork.  In return, I taught her about Jewish holidays and customs, synagogues and kosher food and we talked a lot about God and prayer and family.  On the road we searched for Native American pawnshops and kosher restaurants.  I found it’s easier to find pawnshops in Wyoming and Montana, kosher restaurants in Seattle and Denver. Also, the turquoise jewelry and beaded earrings I bought looked better on me in Wyoming than it does in L.A.

We found that in both worlds there is just one degree of separation. If there was a news story involving Orthodox Jews I would know someone who knew them. If there was a story involving Native Americans chances are someone in Hattie’s extended family knew them.

Over the years, I visited 49 states on CBS’s dime, most of them with Hattie.  We became great travel partners. She became a coffee drinker because of me. I indulged her passion for swimming everywhere. I was the faster driver, she was by far the better navigator.

Swimming in Red Rock  country

When we came back to our bureau we wrote and edited pieces we were proud of. What it means to be a reporter/producer team is to be able to do each other’s jobs. I wrote with Hattie’s voice in my ear. She would interview with my questions in her head.  It also means to cover for one another.  I can’t count the times that Hattie sat at my desk, texting an interview so that I could go home to my daughter. Likewise, I would finish an interview so Hattie could catch a plane to visit her kids.  We did that for 15 years, we worked together, traveled together and had each other’s backs.

Last week, CBS said goodbye to Hattie, Harry, Maggie and Dave. I worked with all of them, and I like and respect them all. Harry says he anchored CBS’s morning show in its various incarnations for 17 out of the last 23 years and I was there for all those years.  I left The Early Show in February but I’ve had a hard time letting go. All this time I still watched as an active participant, rooting for the people I consider my team. Now my team is leaving and it will no longer be “my” show. Although it makes me sad, I am finally saying goodbye.

The Job Search

Having been employed at one network for 22 years, it’s been a very long time since I actually looked for work. Now that I’m job hunting, I’m thinking back to those first job searches and how absolutely everything about the process has changed.

My First On-Air Job WGBB Radio

                                        

It was back in the early 80s. I had my resume professionally printed. I typed cover letters on my IBM Selectric, a college graduation gift. Those letters took quite a bit of time as too much white-out or correct-a-type and you had to start again. I mailed out my resume and then waited by the phone- literally waited by the phone.

 

No cell phones then, and, at least in my parents’ house, we didn’t have an answering machine either. I would call a News Director at a small station and when someone on the other end  said they’d call  back, I thought they meant it. I would sit in my mom’s kitchen waiting for the phone to ring.

These days I am sitting in front of my desktop computer, waiting for it to beep at me, telling me I’ve got mail. My resume is in here somewhere. It has never been printed, but it gets uploaded several times a day. I log on to journalism job sites,  apply online and wait.

 Here’s what I’ve found out.

1-  There are jobs out there but a whole bunch of the ones I qualify for are in the Middle East. In case anyone is interested, Al Jazeera is looking for English speaking producers in Qatar.

2-   Everyone lists “social Media fluency” as a qualification. I have never “tweeted” but since I have a Facebook account  I go with yes on that one.

3-  It would be better if I spoke Spanish, especially in California.

4-  While I always felt I was underpaid, apparently I was wrong.

The experience is entirely impersonal. After uploading my resume I have no clue whose desk, if anyone’s, it’s landing on.  My favorite part of the online application is the grid that comes back to me with information culled from my resume. Several sites must use the same program because it comes back with my job history as follows

Title- Senior Producer / company- CBS News

Title- President-   /company- Ford

Really?? The President of Ford?? That’s because in my resume it says responsible for the coverage of the death of President  Ford. I’m thinking I shouldn’t correct it and I should request 100 times my salary.

The best part of looking for a job has been calling old friends and former colleagues. Folks I’ve worked with are everywhere, network executives, rival morning shows, talk shows  and web sites. I’ve had the good fortune to catch up with people I really like and admire.  I’m touched by how helpful some people have been and the quickness with which they’ve responded. I’m thinking the old saying what goes around comes around is true. I like to believe I was kind and helpful to all the people who came to me looking for work. Hopefully, my resume will land on one of their desks.  But in the meantime, with my history at Ford, I’m sending my resume to the new and improved G.M. I should be a shoo-in.

From Producer Mom- to Mom- to ???

    I was a late in life mom, already 20 years into my career in broadcast journalism when my one and only precious daughter finally arrived.   But by then there was no discussion over whether I would be a stay at home or working mom as I was so firmly ensconced in the workplace. It wasn’t just the money, although that was certainly a factor, it was that being a news producer was who I was. I thrived on the excitement and the stress of the news business, of waking up not knowing that by day’s end I’d be in Oklahoma where a federal building had just been bombed or in Colorado where a massive school shooting had taken place or perhaps interviewing a famous person.   I loved the deadline pressure, and the joy of putting a great piece on television.  I had been blessed with finding the right career for me, one that I loved and was successful at and I wasn’t going to give it up.

Federal Bldng,Oklahoma City 1995

Live Shot with Al and Tipper Gore, 1994

  I figured since so many other moms managed, I would to. And I did. For ten years, I made it to most of the class plays, the thanksgiving Feasts, the Chanukah grab bags, the yearly graduations and all the stuff in between. Sometimes racing from airports to get there.  I was that mom you know so well, the one with the blackberry on her lap sneaking in emails and phone calls between snapping pictures. I did everything with my phone to my ear.  When I woke my daughter at 7 am, I was   on a morning conference call.  When I walked her to school, I was taking phone calls and still doing the same in the evening when I was doing homework and reading a bedtime story. Oftentimes I would leave work to be home for dinner and go back after my daughter was in bed. Even my Sunday soccer outings were interrupted by more conference calls and e-mails.  Still, I felt blessed to have everything I dreamed of, a wonderful happy daughter, and a demanding but fulfilling job.

Nursery Graduation

  It all came to a screeching halt in February. I knew layoffs were coming but I never dreamed I’d see my name on the list. I was offered and accepted a buyout. I was shocked, saddened and a little angry, but I was also excited at the prospect of  NOT WORKING for the first time in my adult life. Suddenly I was on the other side of the mommy divide. A stay at home mom.

  The first big shock was my blackberry. Talk about going from 60 to Zero. On Friday morning I woke up with the usual 60 or so emails.  On Monday, I had one. It was from Bed Bath and beyond. I thought my blackberry was broken. It took a few days before I realized no one had a reason to email me overnight or hardly at all. Same with the phone calls. There were none, other than my mom and sometimes my husband. Everyone else I knew was working. For the first time ever I turned off my cell phone at night.

   Contrary to my expectations, my daughter was not entirely joyful at this turn of events. She said she was going to miss playing in my office, something she often did on Sundays and on the nights when both my husband and I were working late. And she was going to miss the perks that came with my job. Over the years, she met Elmo,Miley Cyrus and the Jonas brothers to name a few. If you have a tween, you know what a star that made her in the fourth grade. She also wasn’t thrilled with my sudden total attentiveness to her homework.

On the set of Hannah Montana

  My husband too had mixed feelings. Yes I was still getting paid, but he worried I’d be bored, start calling him too much or even expect him to join me for lunch.

  My daughter starts school at 8AM and finishes at 4:30.. and in between the hours were suddenly all mine.  I bought a notebook and started a wish list and a to do list and began tackling my free time the way I would a project at work. I learned that staying home is a lot more expensive than working. Lots of things on my to do list were getting done and they all cost money. My daughter got a new room- wallpaper, new desk, vanity, the works.., the kitchen baseboards were painted,  I put together an expensive photo book of our last vacation and put hundreds of photos in albums. Closets got cleaned, and bills, some dating back five years, finally get filed. I also made friends with the dentist I had ignored for years.

  High on my to do list was going to the gym. I already had a membership but was a no show for about three years. I’m proud to say I’m now a regular at the 9:15 cycling class. I can wave to a few familiar faces and don’t even have to hide in the back row anymore.

  The big surprise was how quickly the time fills up. I took my daughter to the dentist and bought her new shoes while I was working, but it was one of ten things I did that day. Now, those errands were outings.  

  I was anxious to do some good in my free time. To me it was a simple equation:  volunteering + stay at home mom = PTA. I dove in right away. Unfortunately for me the next fundraiser involved designing, packing and  sending gift baskets for the Jewish holiday of Purim. Let me say that I found out in about ten minutes how bad I am at making bows. I am no good with double sided tape either. I can however dump candy into bags and count boxes. It wasn’t exactly how I thought I’d  put my talents to use but I was dipping my toes in the water and learning as I went along.  I met and slowly became friends with some very exceptional women. I found projects where I could be more helpful, organizing a cleanup at an abandoned synagogue...working publicity for some local events, and signing up for various committees as the new school year gets underway. My daughter gets a kick out of seeing me in school in the middle of the day and loves that I pick her up every afternoon. Sometimes we go for ice cream before going home.

  I’m now eight months into my “early retirement.” On my wish list I can cross off join a book club, I did that, along with joining a  weekly synagogue class and a pottery class. But I haven’t  yet learned Spanish or taken surfing lessons and despite my earlier cleaning and fixing frenzy my  home office is a mess again.  My blackberry is back to buzzing once again. O.K., I cheated and signed up for a bunch of on-line news sites  just to keep it humming..  But it’s not just that.. I have emails from the school, the PTA, the synagogue, my book club and former acquaintances who are now friends.

 My exit deal mandated that I not work all this time.. but soon I can start working again and I’ve slowly started putting out feelers.  I realize the economy sucks and at 55 I’m old for the workplace, but I’m smart, and talented, honest, hardworking and hopeful. I’m over the identity crisis. I was a producer for 30 years and even if I’m not doing it anymore I carry those experiences with me as I start the next phase of my life..